A Lesson - How to detach from the family...

and yow you could do too now

The young woman who wants a car...

It's long ago, in Paris, France, traffic is intense but acceptable. She wants to have her own new car. She wants a small Fiat 500, 'le pot de yogurt'... She found a red one... that she can afford.

A bunch of guys are selling it for... I forgot the price. After changing the tires etc.. she decided to get it.... She only has enough money for the down payment and needs a credit to complete the deal. After looking up in the French directory, 'le bottin', she found a reasonable financial establishment, a hole in the wall of a big building, which had the money, could advance it to her at an acceptable return rate.

Very proudly she makes the deal and gets - not the girl, but- the car.

Her first move is to go home and show her new acquisition to her mother, who lives in the suburbs of Paris.

When the mother sees the car and learns how her daughter went to perfect strangers to borrow money, she had a fit... let's say that she took very personally as an insult that maybe her daughter didn't: use her, trust her, give her enough importance... to ask her for the money.

The fact is: the growing up daughter, consciously or unconsciously wanted to get out of the family loop mostly created by the mother. Loop where she, the daughter, would receive many things with no expectancy of return, thus not being taught to be responsible for her desires or actions.

 

Something tells me that:

Guided by love, the mother's resistance to see reality forced her to still consider her children as little babies for whom we do everything. Until now, she had had no reason to change the typical martyr attitude that could allow her the genuine right to complain and blame anything and anybody. She was desperately trying to bring back the attention onto her with the implicit sentence: “look what you're doing to me....”

Now, that was one family...

You may answer a few questions that could help you understand better what your life learning has been that decided who you are now …

What was your family dynamics?

What was your family attitude?

What were your intention and attitude?

What other comments would you add to this?

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